00178 - Discovery Log

AI Summary: Reflective journal on confronting past actions, balancing creative flow, gratitude for mystic guides, and nurturing growth through sleep, nature, and community.

Listen to the sound of the river I visited today as you read and relax :)

Today I finally continued with my most confronting essay to date, one where I had to truly sit with my actions of the past. Actions that I’m not proud of and that I cannot justify, but which still happened. I’ve been working towards this moment for a few days now, mostly subconsciously. I recognized that I was resisting and I’m no longer in the mindset that it’s necessary to force anything. Especially when it comes to creative work, it will just work against you if you try to force the outcome. Either you burn out or you just create a mediocre result. If you want to bring out the beauty that is you, then you need to honor the time it requires for that to come through. You need to respect that you are dealing with unknown forces and have faith that you will follow through on your vision. It’s a process of releasing expectations, while still keeping your awareness with the project; it can be highly uncomfortable.

However, for the past couple of months I’ve been working a lot on dealing with my intuition. It aligns with a similar astral field to the one you access when you’re being creative. I’d love to expand on that more, but I need to respect the process and accept that I’ll get to the deeper mystical topics when the time is right. Today was a good highlight for this, because once I finished a chapter for my essay, my masculinity was like: “This is great! Let’s keep going!”, while my femininity was raw and exhausted from the ordeal of reliving the past.

A year ago, I would have still pushed myself to just keep going “because I could”. While ignoring my body and heart in the process.

Nowadays I’m getting quite annoyed with seeing the wounded masculine acting out in our society. This applies to all sexes by the way, we all hold both energies within us. I feel the need to say that, since there’s just too much division in society right now between the two genders.
Anyway, that’s a conversation for another day. It’s just something that came up yesterday as I was scrolling through Substack notes. There’s just so much clickbait out there and the insidious corruption of these masculine wounds is becoming exhausting to deal with. Honestly, it hurts my heart to see people act so out of character just so that they get acknowledged. It’s like I’m surrounded by kids that are all desperate for love. Not realizing that they don’t need another person to validate them. But well… It wasn’t long ago that I was acting out these subtle patterns as well. Sometimes it’s just tough to hold space for this behavior.

My solution? Sleep. Both yesterday night and this afternoon, I just went to sleep. When I get bitter feelings, it’s often just an indication that I need to recharge my emotional energy. Sleep isn’t the only way, but for me it tends to be the most effective. This afternoon it didn’t fully hit the spot though, so as I sat with the discomfort, I realized that I wanted to go for a walk. The river has been calling me for a few days already, but I was too busy having fun with writing. It made me lose sight of just connecting with the elements and being. Just being.

River - Photo

I was reminded of this yesterday as well through one of the channelers in my mystic team: Fin. It was one of the earliest lessons I had picked up on about a year ago, but again… I forgot. Which is why we need a community in our life. Sometimes we just lose certain things out of sight and need the reflection of what we already know. In this case it was simple: I’m not a human doing; I’m a human being.

I want to take this opportunity as well to just share my gratitude for my entire mystic team. Not just the awesome creators on TikTok that share their mystic craft, but also my ancestors, my spirit guides, and Robin.

Robin is the name I gave to ‘the divine’ well before I aligned with my earthly mystic team on this. There are also those who call Robin: ‘God’. To me, the definition of gods and goddesses is too much of a dispute. For example, I have an intimate connection with Hecate and Archangel Michael; which I recognize as equal in energies. On the other hand, I also recognize the divinity within human beings, which can truly make them shine like gods or goddesses.
Frankly, it’s quite a step up for me to use these terms at all. I don’t hold too much weight to these terms, but I use them to communicate my story more clearly. For most of my life, I rejected any religious terminology. And when I went through my first spiritual activation, speaking about ‘the universe’ seeemed to be the most apt. But I recognize now, that this was just my atheistic background shining through.

Anyway, Robin is just a name that I gave to divinity, since it made it easier to communicate with them, while also circumventing the whole man/woman idea. The name ‘Robin’ is one of the most gender neutral names that I could find. To me, divinity is a collective rather than an entity. It’s why I also don’t speak about ‘the divine’, because hierarchy just makes no sense within the field of unified consciousness. It’s all quite obvious for me as I interact with the multitude of astral realms that exist, however… we all experience it differently and I don’t want to come across like I hold an absolute truth. The opposite actually. I would really like to hear your perspective if you engage in astral travel like me. We’re all specialists in our interpretations of these realms. My speciality is generalism: I bridge the specialities and weave them together where it makes sense.

But well, with those distinctions made for now, I just want to share my gratitude for the earth angels on TikTok, the deities that I interact with, my ancestral lines, and Robin. Because they have all brought me to where I am now. I never imagined that I would be so comfortable in sharing myself with the world and I know that the energy that was required to get me to where I am, was no small investment. It’s at times like these that I need to remember that I live in an abundant omniverse, where energy is plentiful and where I don’t owe anyone anything. Those are still remnants of my scarcity mindset. But now, I understand that sharing my gratitude is just a show of joy. It’s an indication that I appreciate the path that I’m on and want to experience more of it. After all, life happens for us, not to us.

That said, we all play our roles and I understand my role now in the greater picture. I’ve had to listen and learn quite a bit to get to this early stage of the rest of my life. But I know now that I’m a leader, a guide, an energetic auditor, and a cosmic weaver. I’ve aligned with my spirit and soul in order to understand the multitude of past lifetimes that I’ve had on this planet. I’ve also gone beyond the spirit realm of Earth and remembered that I was here during the birth of this planet. That I’ve lived across many galaxies and have built up a certain reputation as a soul. I’ve been a founder of the Merlin collective in this quadrant, I’ve been a mediator in intergalactic disputes. And much more.
My soul has travelled the universe for a ‘long’ time and I’ve settled for a limited ‘time’ on this planet to assist it as it ascends. I’ve been recognized by some channelers as someone who holds the ‘source code’ or blue prints to the universe, others have spoken of me as originating from Arcturus.
I’ve channeled messages directly from Arcturus myself, but it’s not my origin.

All I can say from my own truth, is that my soul originates from ‘the beyond’. It’s beyond the multiversal field that forms the framework of our omniverse. It exists outside of all that is and isn’t. A concept that’s tough to translate and isn’t really consequential either. We all hold both spirit and soul, and on the soul level we’re all made of the same essence even if our origins differ. I only share this part of my journey, because I feel called to do so as part of my purpose here.

I’ve got deep ties to Gaia and the main energy bodies that govern her (deities). I’m here now in this lifetime, to ensure that she successfully evolves into her next stage. Within the current omniverse, Gaia is an extremely young planet, but she held a critical role as a seed for the evolution of the universe.
Over these past few months, I’ve played the role of an energy architect in helping her play her role in the shift of moving from a universe into an omniverse. The universe that existed was part of a multiverse until recently and what was felt on this planet, was that we were shifting from ‘3D’ into ‘5D’.

Personally I’m not a fan of speaking of dimensions in this way. It also caused confusion among a lot of beings here. There were those who thought that the material dimension of this planet would split, which isn’t how the natural laws of the material realm operate. To keep it simple: this wouldn’t be a co-creative act. Energy is abundant and requires no drastic shifts like this.

Those who interact with quantum fields more deeply understand that reality is a concept that’s held by an individual and expanded on by the collective.
There are a variety of collectives that exist on this planet and together they make up the reality that we share as humanity. In the past couple of months, strategic shifts have occurred that have altered the reality that humanity experiences. These changes have been felt in a variety of ways, but will only be experienced in full force over the next couple of centuries. It shouldn’t take more than a millenia, however I cannot predict how free will is going to play out in this.

These were discoveries that I’ve made as I audited these global operations and played my own part.

See you tomorrow!