Mercy

to end slavery

Piety, Subservience, or Decomposition? - Source: Pinterest

This is a poetic story about the abandonment of a child due to European background culture having been affected by Christianity. With some subtext at the end.

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Was I not important enough?
when I cried and begged...
Was there a reason you wanted me tough?

What made you think it was good,
that my mood sank?

How did it link in your head,
when my shoulders dropped?

How did you justify,
that my laughter stopped?

Why did it feel right to you,
that my expression
got cropped?

But don't worry mom, I'll do for you what I do for dad too
Because I still believe that fairy tales are true
You both need love and I will provide
I'll make love the priority, when you wouldn't decide

I'll be sure to make my true feelings will hide...

Neither of you care what's on the inside
Order or admiration are the rules I'm taught are fair
I know I’ve always been a nuisance when I cried

Tolerated
but defied

You really thought I didn't notice every time you sighed?
Whenever you did
a part of me died
But it's ok, I know the way
You want me silent, obedient
how good boys play

Punches of kids by day and whimpers of sorrow by night
Lunches in dismay and exhausted looks
when you settle your sight

I never feared a fight
until I was isolated

banished

out of sight

But even that was a torture too slight
A child needs a father

it's only right.

School, church, court, office
you let them rule you with iron might

You spoke gloriously about the strength of woman
Demeaning man as coward
While handing me off weekly,
to the man under whose hand you suffered

“It was the court”, you told me – that was the reason for my destiny
As you passed off your responsibility
Even when I was finally old enough to be allowed to make it stop

You said that without him my mental development would drop
And by then I was too scared to stand up

After which you decided to become the girlfriend of a controlling ex-cop

Before long I was dealing with four people as dense as a rock
His son was the same as me according to the clock
We were forced to get along,
just for you to have some cock

And guess what happened when that boy beat me up?
When I came to you as a teenager begging to go home

You did what you always did
you left me to deal with it alone.

It didn't matter that he bruised my back with a heavy wooden stick
You told me I needed to keep my composure
because we were at a party
and we can't disappoint
the mother
of your favorite dick

And if you would read this poem, by now you would called me a prick
And I just wish I could have told you to your face:
the way you cared for your child makes me sick

But that kind of language gives me an ick…

Yet, for my own healing, I need to say:
bitch – I survived.

I'm telling my story so others can feel ok
I'm here to show there’s something different than the christian's way

Because these are just glimpses
in a life made of decades of desperation & pain
Those lashes to my heart literally drove me insane
It's the kind of stuff that drives men to want slaves and fame

But the one thing I never gave up
despite all my luck
with every emotional slap and physical fist that did drop
is that one day the torment would stop
a day where “honoring thy father and thy mother” no longer mattered

a day where I’d no longer give a fuck

Still – that spell gets cast my way
When people try to disappear the child who didn't get to play
Because “it's better to say nothing, if you have nothing nice to say”

But by now I just care too much about my life to save my spit
This is my past, my story, and back then I was just a kid
I'm sure an adult can get over it — I did.

Plus: I'm not just writing this to have a fit
There's a difference between kindness & niceties
The division lies in if you're willing to alter your story – just… a bit

I stopped being nice
then got stuck because I cared too much about responsibilities

It broke me because of sacrificial absurdities
“The faithful husband exists to provide your utilities”
And since men have no hearts, they can't have disabilities
They're made to break their backs, for their family's amenities
Or go to war to fill up a nations treasuries

A man must be wise when he chooses his wife
But how can he be, when the neglect of his mother
gave him blisters from a scalding bath, at the age of five?

Neglect is all he knew when he took the lifetime dive
So he chose a woman with whom he could survive
He never knew how to thrive

Yet all men are evil and women shouldn’t have rights
And as we suffer each other
the vultures cackle from their ivory towers’ sights

My family were the product of a system designed to raise cattle
But I still remember my nature from before I was given the rattle
I still know what it means to be wild and free
And that's why I choose to forgive and have mercy

So I don't carry forward
what happened
to me

Knowing that I also
have acted atrociously

Perhaps there's still mercy left
for someone like me
because I no longer choose
the narrative of shame and salvation
as the course of my fate and the fulfillment of my destiny

The Subtext

I'm 36 years old and have been an atheist since I was 12. But culture holds onto habits from generations ago, because of “tradition” and the sentiment that “it's just the way it is”. My mother wasn’t evil, I’ve had good times with her as well; but that doesn’t change that she also chose herself over me, more times than I can remember. It’s an attitude of superiority which has a root that affects everyone in the Western society.

The only way we can change it, is by stopping our complacent behavior. It only serves the empires of catholicism and government. Neither of which serve the People.

A benevolent god would not require an emperor to speak for him; so why does the role of a pope still exist? Equally, why do we need presidents or dictators, when we can organize ourselves through councils?

Similarly, we can fight as men and women about who struck the first; as though we're toddlers. Or we can say: “the fight ends here” and band together as we create safe communities, that don't benefit the governments which desire to divide and conquer the herd. We can expose the predators in our midst, by first recognizing the conqueror that lies within our-selves.

Any time you believe you're superior to another human being, regardless of gender, is you saying: “I will use aggression to get my way”.

Christ said: “love thy neighbor”
Christianity says: “conquer thy neighbor if they don't believe in the one true god”

The influence of the Catholic empire still lies deep within Christianity. And if you're a Christian, you contribute to this aggression and support the wars that Western society has waged for centuries. Unless you take accountability for the scripture and how inclusive it is towards other interpretations of life.

Christianity has been the bedrock for crusades, inquisition, burning, hanging, mutilation, torture, slavery, and colonization. Both men and women supported this aggression in the name of ‘all that’s good and holy’. It's currently the reason why there are wars in Palestine and the US. While we're all aware of the potential of a third world war looming on the horizon. A war that would benefit the most wounded people of us all: those who hoard treasures out of fear. Women and men who believe in scarcity, because they were raised by people who guilted them into submission.

Because that's how you control a crowd: you tell them that they're worthless, and that the only salvation lies in a singular god. One which can only be accessed, through an intermediary. One that will accept your gold, if you confess your sins.

Thereby externalizing the inner work you yourself did and also creating the illusion that a priest did something special for you. It's been a giant psyop that's been going on for centuries and the world has suffered from it deeply. Not to mention our planet.

The way I see it, the ‘one god’ Christ spoke of, lies within you. And it's not a divine being; it's being divinity. It's your interconnectedness to all that exists around you. Which is why Christ said: “love thy neighbor”.

And as such, I remain an agnostic atheist. For me there is no religion - Christianity or otherwise - that gets to claim a single interpretation of all that is and isn't. Monotheism is the first empire that must fall in order for humanity to evolve into a planetary species. Until that time, we remain an international conglomeration of warring people's.

One where we blame each other for not understanding our differences, because we don't understand separation is held by unity, in the same way that a beach holds grains of sand.

It's all projection of our will onto another, because we feel insecure about our existence. We feel slighted and believe we're owed retribution - like a child.

And this is why I forgive my family; that time has passed - I cannot change the past. I don't need their approval any longer. My fight with them is over. I'm safe from the pain that has befallen me. And I will keep my distance from them - withdrawing myself from their life is enough.

It's because of that, that I recognize these patterns in our society. And I'm not claiming to be Jesus, but I will say that he was just a guy, who was saying that we're all equal. And I echo that sentiment, while adding my own twist to it.

Because we're not on this planet to just copy-paste each other. There's a time to listen to your ancestors and elders; to learn. And there's a time to break free from traditions in order to see their blind spots; as you teach. This isn’t a linear progression over our lifetime: we’re all students and teachers every single day.

This is the difference between spirituality and mysticism - one follows the interpretation of others as doctrine (religion, witchcraft, shamanism). While the other uses what's available - from all backgrounds - to explore the mysteries of the universe, and bring that interpretation back to the community. Effectively it’s creating your own religion, though I haven’t met any true mystic who seeks to have followers. Why would you if you know you embody divinity already?
All you do is lead by example, you live your life, and if you live it in a way that’s right for you - people get interested in your unique flavor.

If you've read my essay We’re All Completely Crazy, you'll understand that all I'm trying to do here is show you my path, in order for you to find your own way. It's what I believe all free thinking spiritual people try to do.

So speaking just for myself, I'm inspired by Jesus' activism and rebellion against empires. I’m equally inspired by the Buddha in regards to the insights around meditation and early psychology. And the pagans with their deep connection to nature. And the witches and sorcerers who carried the flame of the pagan shamans forward and enhanced it into alchemy. And the ancient Egyptian and Babylonian cultures from which it may all have originated. But does it really matter where we gather our wisdom from?

We are one, we speak of the same mystery but from different angles. And in a world where we already have a global communication technology, I don't see why we can't have a global mystic network. One where we create values together that will create safety for everyone in our communities. Because at heart, we're all the same. We don’t need religions - we need guidance; myself included.

It’s why I want the Dragons Tails to be leaderless. Concentrated power never worked. Hierarchy originates from a survival mindset where we believed immediate decisions were necessary. The future I see doesn't need that approach anymore. So I want to invite you to consider collaborating with me, to create a power structure that will keep commanders (leaders) accountable in the event they're acting out of character. Because we’re all fallible and our tribes used to have structures where we kept each other accountable. I explain more about this idea on the Council page of the Dragons Tails.

Let's build a network of tribes to resist the empires; not through force, but through clear love that puts an end to suffering by using transparent boundaries and rigid borders.

Screenshot of the Celestine Prophecy movie - We amplify each others energy; or as Buckminster Fuller might say: we create synergy.

Conversation

If you’re not subscribed to the Dragons Tails yet, this is your invitation to be delusional with us in creating a world where no single empire attempts to rule the planet.

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